Second Chance: The Bodyguard

Previously, I only knew of The Bodyguard as the Kevin Costner-Whitney Houston film, one of my Dad’s guilty pleasures that he can almost quote word for word. I’d never had much desire to see it, as I’m not a huge fan of either of the stars, and thought that the plot seemed incredibly straightforward and obvious. Man-with-a-past (Costner) is forced by circumstances to guard woman-with-a-diva-complex (Houston). Initially, the pair hate one another, until he saves her life and she shows him who she is inside. Eventually, they fall in love, possibly after someone dies. I was not disappointed. 

The film mostly annoyed me for how blatantly it is trying to set up an acting career for Houston. Her character, Rachel Marron, is a famous actress, trying to launch a music career by singing in a film, just as Houston is trying to launch an acting career by appearing in a film in which she performs most of the soundtrack. The main drawback to the launching of Houston’s film career though, is that in the Bodyguard she does no acting, whatsoever, as the ‘character’ she plays is herself, the diva with the overstuffed ego, blissfully unaware of anyone but herself.

Choose life 3/10

Second Chance: Jurassic Park 3

Jurassic Park is one of those films that really should have stopped at just 1 film. As much as I do love the second film, adding an all-star cast of Julianne Moore, Vince Vaughn, Peter Stormare, Richard Schiff and Pete Postlethwaite (R.I.P.) to the already spot-on casting of Jeff Goldblum, and with the addition of Compsognathus, one of my favourite dinosaurs (get over it, I'm a nerd), I feel that lifting the curtain on the mythology behind the parks sullies the memory of the original film, which I still deem as near-perfect cinema (major failing point: not killing the kids).

Second Chance: Sex and the City the Movie 2

I must have done something wrong. I've no idea what it was, but believe me I'm sorry, as the punishment for this unknown wrongdoing was a viewing of Sex and the City the Movie 2. I've never watched an episode, and certainly haven't seen the original film, but I knew of the characters, their names and basic cliche stereotypes (Charlotte = prim and proper, Carrie = whiny clotheshorse, Miranda = businesslike, Samatha = whore) from pop-culture. I've never had any desire to watch anything even vaguely related to this show, and this viewing has only furthered this mission.

Second Chance: P.S. I Love You

For every good film, there must be an equally bad film (Newton's Third Law of Motion Pictures). Like most people, I tend to not watch a film if I hear that it's bad, even more so if this opinion comes from a review. But a review is merely one person's opinion, and I'm not going to agree with them all the time, surely? So in this column I'll be providing badly reviewed films with a second chance, seeing if they are as bad as everyone seems to think.


Total Film: 3/5
Empire: 2/5
IMDb rating: 6.8/10
Rotten Tomatoes: 23%


Before even watching P.S. I Love You, I got the feeling I'm not going to like it, as it's a modern rom-com featuring Gerard Butler, which trailer-wise are generally terrible (The Ugly Truth, The Bounty Hunter), but the whole point of this is to give film's the benefit of the doubt. So, even though my girlfriend likes it (generally a sign that I won't) I sat down and gave it a try.


It started off well enough, and my spirits were lifted by the depiction of a fairly realistic couple (Butler and Hilary Swank, dabbling in light material for a change), living in a cramped apartment, not knowing where they're going in life or what they want out of it. Even the realisation that relationships don't always work out is relatively original in cinema, with Butler's Gerry passing away from a brain tumour early in the film. After this though, the film follows standard romantic comedy guidelines: the holiday to the idyllic country, the various eligible bachelors in Swank's life, even the bossy sister and sassy friend (Lisa Kudrow having fun with this).


All in all, it wasn't a terrible film, better than expected, and there were times when I actually laughed, but there's not a lot new here, and  the only thing I took away from the film was that, comparatively to Butler's note-leaving, holiday-planning, life-improving Irishman, I am a terrible boyfriend.


4/10 Choose Life