Top 10... Movies With All-Male Casts

I'm off on a stag do this weekend - paint-balling, followed by drinking, in case you were wondering, although personally I think those should be the other way around - and in fact this is the first stag do I've ever been on, so I'm a little apprehensive as to what's going to go down amidst a group of guys I know next to nothing about, seeing as the only one I really know is the groom. This concern comes from all the bachelor parties I've seen in films, and how none of them have ever really worked out all that well. The obvious list I jumped to was top 10 bachelor parties in films, but alas I couldn't think of 10 (in descending order: The Hangover 2, American Pie: The Wedding, The Hangover, Bachelor Party, Very Bad Things, Clerks 2, Sideways), so I switched it out for something similar, celebrating the films that, just like the traditional stag do, don't allow women in them. I had to take a few liberties here - you'll see what I mean - but I think they're acceptable. In fact, this list contains several of my all-time favourite films, two of which I have posters of in my lounge, which may say something about my opinions of women in cinema... Oh, and before you check, no, there isn't any gay porn on here.

Honourable Mention: Outpost
Zombies! Nazi zombies! Ridiculous Nazi zombies! The premise for this film is, well, kinda dumb - a rich dude hires a group of mercenaries to take him to an underground bunker, where they discover the Nazis performed some tests in WW2 to create an unkillable soldier, and wouldn't you know it, whilst they're their they manage to resurrect them - and the film itself plays out little better. The only 'names' amongst the cast are Michael Smiley (Spaced, Kill List) and Ray Stevenson (Thor, Punisher: War Zone) and the director, Steve Barker, has made nothing else of note save a crap-looking sequel, but despite the unlikable characters (particularly Robert Blake's greasy Prior) and evidently low budget, this still has its moments. Can't help thinking Nazi zombies have a great deal more to offer than this though. I really wanted Con Air to take this position, or Armageddon, but they have fairly prominent female roles, dammit.

Top 10... Movie Rabbits

Rabbits. Bunnies. Hares. Lepus. Conies. Floppy-eared, fluffy-tailed harbingers of chocolate eggs. Whatever you call them, their distinctive profiles, cute demeanour and oh-so-adorable little twitchy faces makes rabbits one of the many animals that crops up in films far more often than you might think. And seeing as it's Easter this is the perfect time to celebrate those bouncing bundles of fluff that are the rabbits of the movies. There's some notable omissions - I haven't seen the likes of Watership Down or Rise of the Guardians, haven't overly liked any version of Alice in Wonderland and couldn't bring myself to include The House Bunny on any list. Fatal Attraction deserves a place on a list of best scenes involving rabbits, but that is not this list, and the rabbit in question doesn't have too much of a personality, or even a name if I remember rightly, much like the dinner caught by Gollum in The Two Towers. And this has nothing to do with the quality of the films, it's just how much I like the rabbits in question. 

Honourable mention: Jack Rabbit Slim's, Pulp Fiction
Personally, I'm amazed it's taken me this long to wrangle Pulp Fiction onto a list. Technically there are no actual rabbits in this film, but then that's also the case for at least two other films on this list, but Pulp Fiction is the most tenuous link, hence why it's only the honourable mention. Also, it's a part of my least favourite storyline in the film, as I'm not much of an Uma Thurman fan, and could have done without the Mia Wallace segment. The club itself is pretty damn cool, even if the milkshakes cost $5.00, as the chance to be served by Marilyn Monroe, James Dean or Buddy Holly (Steve Buscemi) is just awesome. The only downside is the dance contests.

Top 10... Remakes

More and more it seems there's no original ideas in mainstream Hollywood, but it turns out that this has always been the case, and it just seems more prevalent now because there's so many more films released each week, and less original stories to go around, so therefore there's more rehashed versions of films gone by available to us on a weekly basis. 2012 saw three remakes in the Box Office Top 20 (The Amazing Spider-Man, Snow White and the Huntsman, Les Miserables), and this is far from new, hell, even The Wizard of Oz was a remake back in 1939 of three silent films that came before it (and a book, but everything's a remake of a book these days). The thing is though... I don't mind. I have no problem with modern film makers updating older films to introduce them to a wider audience - there have been several instances where a remake has inspired me to go back and see the original, and I've discovered a classic that I otherwise may have never found (Scarface springs to mind).

So what inspired this list? Well, The Film Vituperatum's movie of the week is The Adventures of Robin Hood, which whilst I haven't seen it yet and therefore haven't got around to reviewing, I am more than familiar with the story, mainly due to the various adaptations of it. If I had to guess, I'd say the story of Robin Hood is probably one of the top three most adapted tales in history, after A Christmas Carol and Alice in Wonderland, but my list of top 10 Robin Hood adaptations would see Kevin Costner taking third place behind John Cleese in Time Bandits and an animated fox, at which point the list would end because I haven't seen any others, so instead I'm going to celebrate the greatest remakes that I've ever seen, regardless of whether I've watched the originals or not. Oh, and The Wizard of Oz didn't make the list, because I'm fairly sure I've never seen it all the way through. The list also doesn't include any English-language remakes of originally foreign works, because that would be another list entirely, and one I'll save for another day - perhaps when Ringu is selected for movie of the week?

Top 10... Movies With Title Songs

This week's movie of the week over at the Film Vituperatum is Cabaret. Now, I didn't submit a review for this because I watched and reviewed it during the period of my blog that I call 'Reviewing for the Sake of It' in which it was more important to me to watch, or at least sit through, a playing of the film, and record the briefest of comments upon it, as then I could get to the part I was most looking forward to, crossing it from the 1001 List (or whichever list it came from). a little while ago I decided this was ridiculous and wasn't benefiting anyone, at which point I decided to try and expand upon my reviews. I've made the intention to go back and re-review some of the films I'd not given enough respect to in the past, but there are some films I'd really not rather watch again, and amongst those is Cabaret. If you really want to, you can read my 130-word review here, but personally I wouldn't recommend it. Anyway, I wanted to do a list that somehow ties in with the movie of the month (this won't always be the case, but it seems to be working so far). My initial idea was to do my list of Top 10 Worst Movies I've Ever Seen, in honour of Liza Minnelli's cameo in Sex and the City 2 (second place, after Home Alone 4), but instead I opted for movies with songs in them of the same name as the film, as of course the film features Minnelli belting out the titular Cabaret.

Top 10 Worst Movie Mothers

The movie of the week over at Film Vituperatum this week is Psycho, hence why I posted a review of it yesterday, and seeing as it is Mother's Day this Sunday the two events seemed to coincide far too perfectly for me to not create a Top 10 list in celebration. I was a little unsure of which direction to take this in, but then I considered that the mother in Psycho probably wouldn't have sat too well on a list of the all time greatest movie mothers, so forgive me but this is a more negative view of cinematic matriarchs. So here is my run down of the movie mothers that make me oh so very grateful for the one I ended up with, as opposed to any of these raving bags of lunacy.

Now as it turned out Psycho's Mrs. Bates didn't make an appearance on this list, as all she was really guilty of parenting-wise was maybe loving her son a little too much - something which a member of this list attempted to take a bit further. Also, any US readers who may have gotten terrified of the mention of it being Mother's Day this Sunday should not be overly concerned; we celebrate it a couple of months earlier than you guys, so you've still got until May to buy those flowers. So, without further ado, here's my list of mothers who would at best deserve a hastily purchased card from a petrol station, if that.

Honourable mention

Marion Ravenwood (Karen Allen) - Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

On the surface, Marion Ravenwood (Karen Allen) doesn't seem to be too bad of a mother. She doesn't do much wrong other than get herself kidnapped and wear the same forced, frozen smile on her face for the entirety of this intolerable movie. In fact, she's done a fairly reasonable job of raising a son almost single-handedly, whilst maintaining a career along the way. Yes, that son has turned out to be Shia LaBeouf pretending to be Marlon Brando, but it could have been worse. Shia LaBeouf pretending to be Shia LaBeouf, for example. No, Marion's crime is in denying her child, Mutt Williams, of the knowledge of his father's true identity, that of [REALLY OBVIOUS SPOILER] Indiana Jones. What boy growing up wouldn't want Indy to be his father? He's possibly the coolest man in existence, and even with the lack of stability and large periods of time spent travelling the globe in search of historic artifacts and sexy historians, he'd still have been one hell of a father figure to look up to for any growing boy. Plus, she let her son go around with the nickname Mutt.

Top 10... Philip Seymour Hoffman Films

Philip Seymour Hoffman is the recipient of this month's Acting School over at the LAMB. I'm trying to get a bit more involved with the Lamb (hence my appearing in two recent podcasts, and hopefully a few more in the future), so I figured I'd compile a list of my favourite of Hoffman's films for the school, which gets posted over at the LAMB on Monday.

I've always liked Hoffman as an actor, and not just because we're of a similar build, especially around the midriff. He's able to deliver a huge variety of performances, most of which I think I've covered in this list. And I'm aware there's a few of his more prominent films that I've missed off, but that's generally because I haven't seen them yet (The Master, for instance). And this is a list of his best films, not his best performances, so whilst he was thoroughly deserving of his Oscar for Capote, it doesn't appear on my list because as a film I'm not overly keen on it.

Top 10... Anticipated of 2013

Apologies for not posting this yesterday, we had an impromptu cinema trip to see Les Miserables during the time I'd anticipated sitting down and tapping this out.

2012 was a pretty good year for movies, and it looks like 2013 could be just as good, if not better. Here's my pick of the films I'm looking forward to seeing most this year. There's a few that have already been released in other countries, but haven't made their way to England yet, but in my eye's they still count as 2013's films.

Honourable Mention
Wreck-It Ralph

I've been looking forward to this film for a long time, because I do love animated films that are skewed firmly at adults. It hasn't helped that Wreck-It Ralph has been out in America for over 2 months now, and that I've been hearing no end about it on The Adam Carolla Show, as he apparently voices a donut in the film . I've heard good things about it, but I think quite a lot of the references may go over my head, as I've never been a massive gamer, especially when it comes to the more classic arcade games. Anything related to Crash Bandicoot, Pac-Man, Sonic, Mario, Grand Theft Auto or Portal should be pretty clear to me, but I don't recognise most of the villains in the picture over here. Hopefully there'll be plenty to keep me amused though.
UK release: 8 February 2013

Top 10... New-To-Me Films of 2012

2012 saw me watch a total of 231 movies that were new to me. This is my list of the best of those, or rather, the ones I liked the most, and would be willing to see again some day, if I haven't already. Some are from the 1001 List, some from my Film-Makers quest, some new, some a little older. This list does not include any of 2012#s new releases though, they were covered on this list.

Honourable Mention
Return to Horror High
Hang on, I'm going to clarify this. Return to Horror High, one of the first George Clooney ever appeared in, is a terribly made film, with poor acting, shonky sets and a frankly ridiculous final act. Fut it was also one of the most entertaining films I saw this year, because I watched it after a Friday night drinking session, for all the better to enjoy it's ridiculousness. Maureen McCarthy as a cop bizarelly aroused at the site of a dismembered corpse, ridiculous lighting choices and the greatest behind-a-door silhouette of a decapitated head being flung up inexplicably into the air. I still stand by the 2/10 rating I gave the film, because it is terrible, but it was terrible in a really good way.

Top 10... Films I Missed in 2012

So last year I went to the cinema 14 times (technically 14 1/2), as I discussed here. However, and this may come as something of a shock, last year more than 14 films were released, and I've watched very few on DVD that I didn't see in the cinema, so there may have been a few decent films that I missed. Now obviously I can't put any of those on my best of 2012 list, as I can't vouch for their quality. What I can do, however, is speculate on the ones that I missed, with the intention of slotting them into my list once I've seen them, hopefully later this year. In fact, at least two of my list will definitely be seen this year, as they're amongst my DVD collection of unseen films. So, without further ado, here are the ten films I wished I'd seen last year, but for some reason or another I haven't (generally a lack of time, money, distribution or organisation).

Honourable Mention

God Bless America
I feel like I've already seen this due to the sheer volume of podcasts director Bobcat Goldthwaite appeared on last year talking about this film. It sounds right up my alley too - sick of society, a terminally ill man (Mad Men's Joel Murray) goes on a road trip to rid the world of evil people, and is joined along the way by a potentially sociopathic 16-year old girl. Apparently, there's a scene where a baby explodes. I'm not sure if that's a good or a bad thing, but either way I feel that I need to find out. I haven't seen it yet because I don't think it came anywhere near me cinema-wise (all i have are two Odeons and an Empire cinema nearby, plus a one-screen tiny little cinema that most people would call arthouse, but they rarely show anything I want to see).

Top 10... Films Of 2012

As promised, the Top lists have returned, with a vengeance! For you see, what once was five has now become ten, because y'know, when something was already a struggle to do on a weekly basis, why not double the workload? Anyway, this list is a fairly standard one for this time of year, looking back at the best films of 2012. I went to the cinema a total of 14 times last year, and for the most part I only saw films that I actually wanted to see, hence why I was able to make this list, as most of what I saw I genuinely loved. The three films that didn't quite make it this year were, in ascending order, The Woman in Black (partly because of my terrible film experience, partly because it was quite a boring film that I didn't want to see anyway, thanks Craig), The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel (wonderful viewing experience, good film that genuinely made me happy) and Prometheus (massive disappointment, but probably better than I originally gave it credit for, if you remove my impossible expectations).

Honourable Mention

The Pirates! In An Adventure With Scientists
Aardman! In an animation with monkeys! Wallace and Gromit, Chicken Run and everything else this Bristol-based animation studio have provided (except maybe Flushed Away) are British treasures, and the closest this country is ever likely to come to Pixar. This story, based on an acclaimed series of children's books, sees Hugh Grant's Pirate Captain attempt to win both the Pirate of the Year competition and a big pile of cash from some easily-impressed scientists. It's hilarious, beautifully crafted and packed with a wonderful cast, including David Tennant as Charles Darwin, Imelda Staunton as Queen Victoria and Martin Freeman as Pirate with a Scarf, and I've just realised that I don't own it yet and I've forbidden myself from buying DVDs this year, so I can't watch it again for a while. Bugger.