Top 5... Movie Cars

 Two weeks ago, Aisha and I bought a car. It's her second, but it the first one I've ever put some money towards, and it's our largest joint purchase to date, so it's something of a noteworthy milestone. It would have inspired last week's Top 5, but then my sister went and got engaged, so I had to postpone this one a week, but in tribute to our new powder blue Nissan Micra (named Ellie after the wife/house from Up), here is my list of the Top 5 Movie Cars. Now, I'm not much of a car guy, so don't expect long diatribes about how fast Cameron's Dad's Ferrari 250 GT from Ferris Bueller's Day Off can go, or just how sexy Bruce Wayne's Lamborghini Murciélago is, because I had to look up what both of those cars were, and I'm still doubting the spelling of Lamborghini. Instead, these are the cars that, for whatever reason, are generally my favourite, be it due to character, coolness or how much I'd like to own one.

Top 5... Movie Proposals

Earlier this week, I discovered I was going to become a brother-in-law, as my sister's former-boyfriend-now-fiance finally popped the question atop Edinburgh castle. My tribute to them (congratulations Rachel and Sparrow!) is this little rundown of the top proposals in the movies. I'd also like to give a special mention to this video here, which had it appeared in a film would probably be on my list. Anyway, it turns out that a majority of movie proposals happen in rom-coms (I was shocked too), most of which I unfortunately (or fortunately?) haven't seen, so this is list is far from complete. Just like all my other Top 5s really. Oh, and not all of these are strictly proposal scenes, but that's the general gist, so let me off on a couple, OK?

Top 5... Directors For The New Star Wars Films

As I'm sure you're aware by now, Disney recently bought LucasFilm, and are currently planning on releasing the next trilogy of Star Wars films, starting in 2015 (which is looking like a pretty damn good year for movies so far, what with Avengers 2 and the Justice League movie). Currently nothing has been set in stone other than a frankly ridiculous amount of rumours over cast and crew, so I'm going to throw my hat into the already over-hatted ring as to whom I believe would make a decent director for what proves to be one of the most eagerly, yet cautiously, anticipated films of the next few years. As I like to do sometimes, I've made two lists, one of a safe pair of hands to kick off the trilogy, and another list of film-makers who could add an interesting spin on the series that I'd quite like to see.

Top 5... 'Friends' Movies

It's David Schwimmer's birthday today, and with the imminent release of the complete Friends boxset on Blu-Ray (available in the UK on November 12th), this seemed to be the perfect time to have a look through the filmographies of the six leads of that great show. That is, until I got severely depressed by just how bad most of the films they'd made were. So bad, in fact, that amongst six successful actors, I could barely find 20 films that I'd willingly sat down and watched. This was a tough list to find five good films from.

5. Lost in Space

I'm fully aware that this is a terrible film, but it belongs on a list with the likes of Godzilla, Deep Blue Sea and The Day After Tomorrow as films that don't really have a lot going for them other than being largely entertaining. Lost in Space features a fairly terrible performance from Matt LeBlanc as Major Don West, the captain of a spaceship transporting the Robinson family to a new colony in an attempt to begin the salvation of humanity, but of course problems arise, most notably a hoard of alien spiders that eat through the ship's hull. Is there anything worth watching about the film? Yes. Gary Oldman is terrific as the evil Dr. Zachary Smith (and a slightly more spidery version later on). The rest of the Robinsons are OK too, particularly William Hurt as the father. And there's a robot! Now, I've never seen the 60s TV show on which this is based, but I'm pretty sure that if they had implemented a weird sucker-fingered alien monkey, the CGI may have looked slightly better than in this film , made 30 years later.

Top 5... Dinosaur Movies

Dinosaurs! It's no surprise to anyone that I love me some prehistoric beasties. I can probably trace my love of dinosaurs back to the child I've never really stopped being, but there's something about the fact that these giant, terrifying creatures once ruled the very land we walk upon that captures my imagination. Sadly, dinosaurs have become somewhat scarce out in the real world in recent millenia, so the best place to see them at their finest is in the movies. This list is probably one of my least surprising, especially the top 2, as they're films I rarely go a day without mentioning, but the list was an inevitable one, and I was at a loss for what else to do this week, so here it is:

5. Ice Age 3: Dawn of the Dinosaurs
I think the Ice Age movies have been cruelly ignored, deemed 'lesser animation,' and basically dismissed by many people who haven't seen them. Whilst they're certainly nowhere near as good as most of Pixar's output (but then, what is?), the Ice Ages are actually worth your time. Part three, The Dawn of the Dinosaurs, though not technically historically accurate, is probably my favourite of the bunch (I've not seen part four, Continental Drift, yet), and whilst including dinosaurs probably didn't hurt it's cause, the main reason I like it most is Simon Pegg's deranged one-eyed ferret Buck. I'd also like to use this opportunity to complain about Ice Age 2: The Meltdown. At one point, the herd (comprised of Ray Romano's Manny the mammoth, John Leguizamo's Sid the sloth, Denis Leary's Diego the sabre-tooth tiger, Josh Peck and Seann William Scott's possums Eddie and Crash and Queen Latifah's Ellie the mammoth-who-thinks-she's-a-possum) encounters an expanse littered with erupting geysers. Manny wants to cross, but Diego warns him that "It's a minefield out there!" The one part of this film's suspension of disbelief - of which quite a lot is required - that I just cannot overcome is how exactly does Diego know what a minefield is? Small gripe, I know, but it never stops annoying me whenever the film is on TV.

Top 5... Time Travel Films

After my recent cinematic adventures with Looper, this list was going to be my Top 5... Fainting Scenes, however I couldn't think of any good ones outside of Sleepy Hollow. So, to celebrate Looper and my finally remaining conscious throughout its entirety, here's my Top 5... Time Travel Films. Also, apologies for posting a day late, I wanted to sort out my thoughts on Looper to see if it would be on the list, and I was out last night, sorry about that.

Time travel in films has always had one major problem - paradoxes. To my knowledge, no film or franchise has successfully made an entirely plausible and plot-hole-free time travel story. They either travel through parallel universes in ways they shouldn't be able to (Back to the Future Part II), ignore ways in which the present/future would change because of events in the past/present (Deja Vu), or conveniently forget the existence of the time travel device when it could be incredibly useful elsewhere (Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban). This is generally the most important aspect I look for in a good time travel film, although occasionally sheer entertainment value can often outweigh this.

Top 5... Films Aisha Loves That I Don't Hate

 I've been lacking inspiration for a Top 5 this week, with the best I could come up with being Hugh Jackman films, as its his birthday, but I've missed too many of his films for it to be a very conclusive list. So, in my desperation, I turned to my girlfriend, something I only ever do in the direst of situations film-wise. I've discussed her frankly laughable taste of films in passing before, but I believe I may have been unnecessarily harsh on some of the films she likes, so here's my Top 5 list of the films she loves that I don't necessarily hate. Apologies for any extravagant soppiness, it won't happen again. And yes, Aisha got to choose the pictures.

5. Marley and Me
Now, I wouldn't like this film if I were to watch it on my own, but at present it's Aisha's favourite film, and it makes me happy to see her happy, so technically I must like it. But it can't be any higher than number 5 on this list because a) it's a terrible film, and b) she cannot watch it without almost drowning in the flood of dears she seeps towards the end. For you see, Aisha is a dog-person (I'm a no-animals-person, at best a fish-person), so any film featuring dogs, especially [spoiler] the dying of a pet dog, something she has lived through, result in an unquantifiable amount of sadness. But guess who's around with a shoulder to cry on? That'd be me. Which is another reason I don't hate the film, it's made us closer as a couple.

Top 5 Bond Actors

Today is the 50th anniversary of the release of the first Bond film, Dr. No. Also, I reviewed Casino Royale earlier this week (undeservedly voted the 56th greatest film of all time by Empire readers in 2008), and Skyfall, the 23rd official Bond film, is released soon, so this seemed to be the perfect time to do a Top 5 list related to Bond in some way. As much as I would have liked to have done a comprehensive list of my five favourite Bond films, villains, girls, gadgets, cars, locations, henchmen, lairs, guns and kills, I'm afraid I don't know nearly enough about the series to do that, seeing as I've seen quite a few of the films only once, and many of them I can't remember. I do know that my favourite film is Goldfinger, which also features my favourite henchman, Oddjob. Scaramanga is probably the best villain I can remember, or perhaps Max Zorin, but that's mainly for the actors playing them. So instead of any of those lists, I've compiled my top 5 of the actors who have portrayed Bond onscreen in the main series (I've not seen the 1967 David Niven-starring Casino Royale). Seeing as there's only six actors currently in the series, this was a pretty straightforward list to compile.

Top 5... Movies That Should Be In 1001 (2012 Edition)

Monday sees the release of the next edition of the 1001 Movies You Must See Before You Die book, which sees my recently reviewed Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy on the cover. This release got me thinking, what films would I most like to be added in this edition? As usual, my first instinct regarded efficiency and time-saving, so of course the films I'd post want to be added would be ones that I'd already reviewed, so I wouldn't have to review them again. But then I thought no, that's not really what I want. I want to watch new films, experience new things and write about them, that's why I'm writing a blog in the first place; to discuss movies. Why would I want an excuse to do that less? So as well as my already-reviewed list there's another for films that not only have I not reviewed, but that I haven't even seen, and I think should probably be on the List. Thirdly, because it's a super-bumper-bonus day, there's a final top 5 for the films that haven't appeared on either list, but will most likely be on the actual list, for which I haven't been consulted. What films do you all think will be on there?

Top 5... Bill Murray Films

It's Bill Murray's birthday! The guy is a prime contender for a future Film-Makers Career Review, but until I see all of his work, here's my favourite of his films. Now, in my looking back at his career I noticed Murray has tended towards two kinds of roles, leads/major parts, or brief cameos, so I've made two lists to celebrate this fact:

5a. Caddyshack
I'm fairly sure the main reason this film is remembered as a comedy classic - by me at least - is because of Murray's breakthrough role as the deranged gopher-hunting groundskeeper Carl Spackler. His scene in his shed, talking to the little clay models of squirrels and rabbits he intends to use to destroy the golf course terrorising rodent is just wonderful, even if the gopher himself looks like one of the worst puppets ever put on screen.

5b. Get Smart
OK, so the film is pretty terrible, but Murray's cameo as the tree-dwelling lonely sad sack Agent 13 in this lacklustre spy reboot is one of the few watchable moments, and came as such a surprise to me when I watched the film that it almost made the experience worthwhile. Almost.

Top 5... Boating Disaster Movies

I'm off on a cruise tomorrow - only a short one, a family trip to celebrate my Dad's retirement earlier this year - but as I am something of a level 5 pessimist/worst case scenario anticipator, all I can think about is all the films I've seen where unexpecting people come a cropper aboard some vessel or another. So what better way to rationalise my fears than by making a list of the five best films involving boating disasters of some kind or other.

5. The Perfect Storm

Go back and watch this film, and you'll be shocked at how starry the cast has become. Alongside George Clooney and Mark Wahlberg as the New England fisherman captain and his friend caught in the mother of all storms, there's John C. Reilly, William Fichtner and John Hawkes amongst the crew, and Karen Allen, Diane Lane, Bob Gunton, Christopher McDonald, Michael Ironside and Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio waiting back home, fearfully watching the news reports and expecting the worst. Though the once-stellar special effects may now look a little dated, just watch Die Another Day directly afterwards to remind yourself of just how bad those waves could have been.

Top 5... Michael Clarke Duncan Roles

Earlier this week, Michael Clarke Duncan sadly passed away, so in his memory here are my favourite performances from the big guy.

5. Manute, Sin City
Though at times he felt a bit lost amidst the shuffle of star wattage in Frank Miller, Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino's comic book noir, Duncan plays the ruthless Manute well, and leaves an impression in a film full of big characters, great set pieces and lashings of style. He shall be missed if Sin City 2 ever gets off the ground.

Top 5 Tony Scott Films

R.I.P. Tony Scott. His death has come as such a surprise that I have little to say about it, other than he will be greatly missed, and I feel he had many more films to make. Here's my tribute to the director.

Top 5... Films of the Film-Makers I'm Watching

I know what you're thinking: "A Top 5? On a Monday? Madness!" and you're correct. However, this isn't any old Top 5. No, it's a Top 5 that's actually five Top 5s, all of which are likely to change over the next few months. Basically, as regular readers will know I've recently decided to watch all of the films by some of my favourite film-makers, but I thought I'd give you all a taste of my opinions of them before I completely submerge myself. So, below, are my current Top 5 lists of the films of George Clooney, the Coen brothers, Alfred Hitchcock, Steve McQueen and Kate Winslet. I'll re-do each person's list once I've finished all of their films. Chances are, if you're favourite of their films isn't on any of the lists then I haven't watched it yet. Or you're wrong.

Top 5... Film-makers I'd like to come out of retirement

This weekend is my parents' joint retirement party (it's a barbecue, so please could everybody hope for at least dry weather), so this week I'm taking a look at those makers of films that have decided not to make them any more, and which ones should come back and improve modern films.

5. Peter O'Toole

Even though O'Toole only announced his retirement three days ago, and he turns 80 in a month's time, I'm still including him on this list purely because I couldn't think of a fifth film-maker I'd like to come out of retirement. Yes, there are many who I would have liked to have come out of retirement some time ago, but to demand they do so now would be cruel in some states (85-year old Sidney Poitier) and downright impossible in others (Peter Falk). So I'm sorry Pete, but if you fancy having another pop at this acting lark, you're more than welcome. O'Toole is of course most famous for playing T. E. Lawrence in Lawrence of Arabia and Prometheus, but I know him better as the soon departed king in Stardust, King Priam in Troy and as the creaking critic Anton Ego in Ratatouille. He does have the perfect voice for playing Disney bad guys or strict authoritarian elders, and vocal work can't be that taxing, so I feel the door should be left open, just in case he fancies another Pixar cameo.

Top 5... Directors Who Haven't Yet Beaten Their First

Sometimes a director will knock a film out of the park on their first go. This is never a bad thing, unless of course the director then spends the rest of their career chasing a high they may never achieve again. Whether its a matter of a budget they can't handle, an inflated ego, troublesome actors or the interference of a pesky, meddlesome studio, these directors just haven't managed to get things together to relive those past, initial glories.

5.
Frank Darabont - The Shawshank Redemption

There are few people in the world who don't like The Shawshank Redemption, yet it was Darabont's first feature film after just a short and a couple of TV movies. Since its release in 1994 Darabont very nearly reached its heady heights again with the similarly Stephen King scribed The Green Mile, but it was overlong and a tad too depressing at times for my liking. The Majestic is under-appreciated but nowhere near as good, and though I really like The Mist, it can never be more than a slightly above average monsters-from-a-parallel-dimension B-movie. The Walking Dead had the potential for greatness, and is still very enjoyable, but it's doubtful whether anything Darabont makes will ever reach Shawshank-like levels of greatness.

Top 5... Funniest Musical Moments

It's Rhimenocerous extraordinaire Bret McKenzie's 36th birthday today, so in honour of him and his Flight of the Conchords cohort Jermaine Clement, let's have a look at the Top 5 Funniest Musical Moments in film.

Top 5... Worst Cinematic Experiences

I was inspired to write this list after listening to a similarly themed podcast from The Film Vault a few months ago, plus it was a post I could write without having to do any research whilst on holiday in a technology-less cabin in Clydach. Now, this isn’t a list of the best and worst films I’ve seen at the cinema (Best: Toy Story trilogy, Lord of the Rings, Cabin in the Woods etc, Worst: Speed Racer, The Mummy 3: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor), instead it’s when certain elements – be they oversights from the cinema themselves or my fellow cinema-goers – have come together to ruin what should have been something wonderful.

Top 5... Rainy Scenes

I'm on holiday in Wales at the moment, and whilst I'd like to do my Top 5 Welsh movies or Movies Set In Wales, I'm afraid I couldn't come up with very many for either category. Instead I thought I'd try and be funny and do my Top 5 Movie Whales, but I've only seen four films with whales in (4. Pinocchio, 3. Finding Nemo, 2. Free Willy, 1. The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy) and I haven't seen any others (including Moby Dick, Whale Rider, Big Miracle and Star Trek VI: The Voyage Home). So instead I've decided to focus on Wales' biggest export, rain, and I'm celebrating those scenes made all the better because of a downpour. I've chosen not to include any John Cusack films on the list purely because he gets caught in the rain in every damn one of them, so if I ever get stuck for a list in the future, Top 5 John Cusack In The Rain Scenes may well crop up.

Top 5... Movie Monarchs

Last weekend was Queen Elizabeth II's Diamond Jubilee. I've mentioned before that I'm no Royalist, but it got me thinking as to the cinematic world's greatest rulers, so let's have a look at the top movie monarchs. I've broken this down into real and fictional.