Prometheus Plot Holes

Warning, this post is literally nothing but spoilers for Prometheus. I mentioned in my review that the script had numerous plot holes, and I really need to vent them out, so I’ve listed them below. Do not read this until you’ve watched the film, and if anyone can fill the holes in for me please go ahead. I repeat, do not read this post until you have seen the film.

Prometheus

Don't ask me how, but I managed to get a ticket to the Cast & Crew Premiere of Prometheus at the Empire Cinema in London's Leicester Square last night. Though it was disappointing not to see director Ridley Scott or the cast, who are probably saving themselves for tomorrow's red carpet Premiere (a part of me was hoping I'd get to sit next to Charlize Theron, you can probably guess which part), the experience of going to see a film with nothing but film fans and people who respect the art, in a stunning cinema, was amazing, even if there was a bit of a post-movie crowd crushing to retrieve handed-in phones afterwards. Plus, I saw it three days before the rest of the general public, which makes me feel special. 

 In 2089 a group of scientists, led by Shaw and Holloway (Noomi Rapace and Logan Marshall-Green) discover ancient cave paintings on the Isle of Skye depicting giant humanoids reaching up to 6 orbs in the sky. The drawing matches others found all over the world, and point towards a distant planet that may hold some key to the origins of mankind. Four years later, the scientists arrive at the planet LV223 as part of a 17-man crew aboard the Peter Weyland-funded ship Prometheus. Once there, the crew find traces of alien life, but are the answers they receive the ones they were hoping for?

Through A Glass Darkly

I rarely watch a film I literally know nothing about, and I must say it's an unsettling experience. I've witnessed people walking up to a cinema and asking "What's playing today?" in shock and awe. "How can these people not know about the film they're going to see? Who are these people? Have they left the house just to see any film, rather than planning, sometimes weeks in advance, to go and see a specific film?" are often thoughts that run around my head and occasionally out of my mouth as the clerk at Odeon reels off a list of the current blockbusters and horrors  for the third time to a pair of elderly women in front of me in the queue, clearly looking for something starring Clark Gable. On occasion, and as happened recently with Time Regained, I will pause a movie I know nothing about some way into it, to have a quick check online or in the 1001 book, to give me some idea of what I'm supposed to be watching. If I do this, it's not generally a good sign, as a) I'm as yet unsure of what the film is about, and b) I'm clearly bored. This was not an option with Ingmar Bergman's Through A Glass Darkly though, for I watched it streaming via LoveFilm, and I find that if I pause it for more than a quick toilet break, the damn thing refuses to load unless it plays from the beginning, so I had to sit it out and find out what I was watching afterwards.

Unlisted: Invictus

South Africa, May 1994. Nelson Mandela (Morgan Freeman) was released from prison 4 years ago, and has just been elected as the country's president. Amidst a nation-wide racial clash, Mandela believes that the key to a united country could lie within the national rugby team, the Springboks, and their captain Francois Pienaar (Matt Damon).

Mandela's plan, it seems, is for the Springboks - a team so despised by the black population that they instinctively root for whoever is playing against them, and who hadn't been doing terribly well before Mandela got involved - to win the Rugby World Cup in less than a year's time, though experts believe they'll get no further than the quarter finals at best. The Springboks, with only one black player and a uniform of apartheid's green and gold, find themselves in a position where their president wants them to be cheered on by the entire mixed nation, so embark on a PR campaign involving playing and teaching rugby to the poor black kids from the slums of the country. Going in, I thought his plan would have been to create a team comprised of 50% blacks and whites, thereby creating animosity as to whether the players were recruited for their skill or the colour of their skin, but in effect his plan was... nothing. Other than some inspirational speeches, standard marketing techniques, a slightly more intense training regime and an admirable cause, the aim seems to be just to will the team to win. Much like Million Dollar Baby, I could have done with some more time spent on the reasons behind the success, not simply showing it.

Last Tango in Paris

This is one of those films that I've often heard mentioned, but never knew anything about, other than it had Marlon Brando wearing a long camel coat, and some degree of nudity. This is true on both counts, though 'some' could be something of an understatement, as barely a scene goes by without flesh being exposed, love being made or pleasure being administered by a character to themselves.

Our leads are Paul (Brando) and Jeanne (Maria Schneider, at the time a somewhat inexperienced actress). After several near-meetings and glimpses on the street and in a bar, she goes to rent an apartment that he has already entered. Without knowing one another's names, or anything else, the two engage in a burst of passionate, impromptu sex, before embarking on a relationship centred around the apartment, despite troubles in their personal lives and an obvious age gap of at least twenty years.

Ring

I always seem to end up watching horror movies on my own. Very few of my friends, and definitely not my girlfriend, actually like scary films, and though my Dad likes a couple my Mum always essentially banned them from the house (Carrie is her least favourite film of all time, possibly the main reason my Dad still has it on video back at their house). And so it was that I ended up watching Ring, the Japanese 1998 original, alone. It's subtitled, which rules out the only people I know that would have been willing to watch it with me, but as I was expecting something thoroughly disturbing, bordering on terrifying, I made sure to watch it first thing on a bright and sunny Saturday morning. I even left a curtain open to stream in some sunlight, just not the one that gives glare on the screen.

I've seen the remarkably successful Gore Verbinski US remake of this film and found it thoroughly underwhelming and forgettable, so much so that going in I couldn't really remember much about it, other than the basic plot and at some point it involved a well, so I was actually largely looking forward to this viewing, to see what all the fuss was about.

Million Dollar Baby

The second part of my Clint-Eastwood-directing-himself-and-Morgan-Freeman-in-a-supporting-role double bill see Clint take on a genre he's never really (that I know of) looked at before, the sports movie (please feel free to let me know if he has, I'm often wrong about these things and he's been working for an awfully long time).

If there's two criticisms that can be lauded onto Eastwood, it's that he doesn't direct happy stories or portray more than one character. He's not renowned for making lighter films with happy endings or playing people who aren't grumpy, stoic curmudgeons with their trousers too high, and his streak continues here. I know he's made a few lighter films (Paint Your Wagon, Every Which Way But Loose) but I haven't seen them, and I'm guessing he plays the grumpy, stoic, possibly singing straightman to a comically messy primate who never stops annoying him. Again, please let me know if I'm wrong and recommend any films where he flashes a smile, once.

Top 5... Movie Grandads

Today is my Grandad's birthday, happy birthday Grandad! If he knew what the Internet was, he still probably wouldn't be reading this, but in tribute let's have a look at the greatest Grandad's on film (spoiler alert).


5. Grandpa Joe (Jack Albertson), Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory
On the surface, Joe seems to be a pretty decent grandparent - he never loses faith in Charlie and accompanies him to the chocolate factory upon his grandson's finding of the last golden ticket, but there are many reasons why he isn't higher on this list. Firstly, he's been in bed, unmoving, with Charlie's other three grandparents, for many years, complaining of a medical condition preventing him from working, whilst his daughter (or daughter-in-law, I'm not sure) slaves away all day, every day to provide for the entire family. Secondly, his undying faith that Charlie was going to win a ticket is only acceptable because Charlie did in fact win. The entire first half of the film depicts the chances of Charlie finding a ticket as so remote, that it's nothing short of an astronomical miracle that he finds one. Had he not, it's likely that his hopes had been built up so high, mainly because of his grandfather, that it'd be surprising if he didn't end up with some kind of a complex. Thirdly, Joe's antics within the factory almost cost Charlie and his family the life of their dreams when he coaxes Charlie into drinking the Fizzy Lifting Drink (not to mention threatening what little life he already had with that giant fan). All that being said, as a grandfather he isn't too bad, and does seem to be a lovely man.

Unforgiven

The first part of my double bill of Clint-Eastwood-directing-himself-and-Morgan-Freeman-in-a-supporting-role sees the American icon define the genre that not only made him the prolific star he is, but that he has almost singlehandedly kept alive since it's surge in popularity in the 60s and 70s; the western.

Unforgiven sees Eastwood as William Munny, a former hardened killer reformed by the love of a good women and the birth of his two children. With his wife dead and their herd of pigs stricken with fever, Munny accepts the offer from young upstart The Schofield Kid (Jaimz Woolvett) to kill two ruffians who cut up a whore after she laughed at one of them having a small penis. They team up with Munny's former partner Ned Logan (Morgan Freeman) and head out to the town of Big Whiskey, lorded over by Gene Hackman's occasionally violent 'Little' Bill Daggett, where other hired killers, including Richard Harris' English Bob, are also heading to claim the bounty.

Unlisted: Bridesmaids

As usual, I'm a little late to the party with this review. I've heard a lot of good things about Bridesmaids, and as usual the great deal of hype has built up my expectations, so I'd anticipated a comedy that proved something I've always had my doubts about; that women could be just as funny as men. I don't mean to be misogynistic, I'm just terribly good at it, but I've always preferred male comedians to female, and you've got to admit that there's a hell of a lot more of them. Plus, my girlfriend (who also isn't funny) watched this film last year and said she didn't enjoy it, which is usually a sign that I would.

Body Heat

In a balmy summer heatwave in the American Deep South, the not-terribly-good defense lawyer Ned Racine (William Hurt with a 70s pornstar moustache) makes a random encounter with wealthy, sultry Matty Walker (Kathleen Turner), who is unhappily married to Edmund (Richard Crenna), a good man who is always away on business. Ned and Matty begin an illicit and steamy affair, and both decide that they'd be better off financially and romantically if Edmund were no longer around, so Ned, with the help of Mickey Rourke's criminal consultant, sets out to murder him.

What sets this apart from the rest of the noir genre it draws obvious inspiration from is the copious nudity and sex scenes between the two leads, which are excessive even by today's standards, as well as several shots of Richard Crenna in his underwear that I could have done without.

The Conformist

It's probably not much of a recommendation to say that, only a month after having watched it and having read the notes I took at the time, I cannot remember much about this film. The plot was incomprehensible, mainly because the narrative was chopped up and flitted between with little to no acknowledgement, and if I hadn't read that it was about a hitman I'd probably never have known.

Our protagonist is Clerici (Jean-Louis Trintignant), a fascism-supporting, recently engaged man with a sordid past, who desperately wants to fit in with society. So jumbled up is the structure of the film that I'm reluctant to say anything that happens, as I can't be sure of the order shown during the runtime, so if there are spoilers within this review then I apologise.