Brave

Brave marks something of unchartered territory for animation powerhouse Pixar. It's their first fairytale,, the first set in the past, the first to use magic, and the first to feature a female lead, in Kelly Macdonald's Princess Merida. It's also the Pixar film that I've waited the longest to see since it's cinema release, seeing as it came out here over a month ago, but I only saw it yesterday because of the frankly outrageous 3D scheduling of my cinema (as always, fuck 3D). 

The long delay has added to my already high level of anticipation for the film, seeing as I started reading reviews of my American and New Zealander counterparts months ago when the film was released over there (seriously, why such a long wait for us Brits? Sort it out), and my deep love of most things Pixar (Cars? meh) meant that this film was going to have to do a lot to satisfy me. And unfortunately, it didn't. 

Combat Academy

George Clooney strikes again. Looking up his C.V., I've got at most four more films I have immediate access to until I get to one that's even half decent (From Dusk Till Dawn), and that's skipping six I can't find yet! My god his early career was appalling. And then straight after Dusk I've got the one-two double punch of One Fine Day and Batman and Robin. I am really beginning to regret this decision, but its too late now.

Anyway, Combat Academy. In case you hadn't guessed from the title and the 1986 release date, this is an attempt at a rip-off of the hugely popular Police Academy, down to copying the poster style and title typography, but this time set around a military school. However, the key area they failed to take inspiration from is in the use of colourful, quirky characters, engaging yet entertaining performances, and the inclusion of actual jokes. There's even a commanding officer with a tank-bound pet. They can't even blame it on coincidence either, as director Neal Israel was on script duty for Police Academy.

Guaranteed Happiness: Wall-E

Welcome to the first post in my new semi-regular feature, Guaranteed Happiness. I've discovered that a lot of the films I've watched recently haven't necessarily dealt with very happy subjects, and this has been getting me down a bit. Now and then, I'd quite like to watch a happy film, or one that's uplifting and ensures that I'll have a big stupid grin on my face for at least 80% of it, and definitely at the end. After all, I'd much rather write about a film I'm passionate about, and I tend to have more to say about films that make me smile than those that make me suicidal. Praise should be aimed squarely between the shoulders of my girlfriend then, for sticking on Pixar's gem Wall-E when I was in a decidedly cranky mood a little while ago. The aim was for me to sit down and write some posts, which to be honest I was in no mood to do after a fairly crappy day at work and having to shell out over a considerable amount of cash to fix my bike, yet as soon as the film began all thoughts of blogging and even glancing at my laptop screen were out the window.

Toy Story Trilogy

Today’s volatile weather conditions allowed for a productive afternoon film-wise, as a planned bike ride along the beaches of Bournemouth was cut short by sporadic torrential downpours, meaning I crossed a trilogy off the list; Toy Story 1-3.

Watching the original Toy Story, the first feature-length motion picture created entirely using computer animation, always send me back to my childhood, aged 8 years old, sat in the cinema watching in wide-eyed wonder as the pixels were brought to life before me, with my Dad sound asleep in the next seat. It's one of my earliest film-related memories (my earliest cinema experience that I know of was the Lion King, but that's another post).


Pixar, for it is they responsible for both this wondrous memory and, perhaps, my love of film in general, have crafted in Toy Story that most miraculous of creations, a debut feature near perfect in execution, akin to Tarantino's Reservoir Dogs, or Sam Raimi's Evil Dead. The secret to Toy Story's success? My personal opinion is that, as with those others mentioned, the film has an overall, well known genre (children's animation), but refuses to stick to it, flitting between and parodying a cornucopia of other film genres, including war ("A good soldier never leaves a man behind!"), the heist in Sid's house, the zombie-like attack, a car chase, road movie, seemingly no movie staple is left untouched.


This multitude of movie pastiches continues through Toy Stories 2 and 3, taking in westerns, rescue missions, an amazing Star Wars riff, rom-com (Ken & Barbie), physical slap-stick comedy, a prison escape, nightmare sequence, even elements of horror, especialy with the trilogy closer's truly disturbing screaming monkey. Also, the ending of Part 2, involves that greatest of movie staples, a mad dash to and around an airport, yet Pixar approaches each aspect so uniquely that they appear fresh and new.

One of the highlights of the trilogy is the immensely enjoyable opening to part 3, where the original films have become so well known that they are ripe for self-homage, with the fantasy openings of the previous two films merged together in a tremendously fun fashion, making Pixar seem like the best possible place to work. If anyone from Pixar is reading, dear God please hire me. Please.


If I have to fault the films (and alas I do) then it is the first film's over-focus on its leads. Whilst the characters are good, and incredibly well inhabited by Tom Hanks and Tim Allen, it's the supporting characters that really shine brighter, and keeping the leads away from them for the majority of the picture is the only fault I can really pick. This problem was fixed by the time Toy Story 2 was released, with Rex, Hamm, Mr. Potato Head and Slinky-Dog being given a lot more well-deserved screen time, although the introduction of the weakest main character, Jesse, is just about corrected by pulling the one-two casting coup of Kelsey Grammar and Wayne Knight.

Also, being a mechanical engineer by day, I can't help but ignore that not all of the physics works out, but then this is a film in which inanimate toys come to life, so maybe that can be ignored. Also, at the end of Toy Story 3, how does Andy know Jesse and Bullseye's correct names? He was given them as gifts, and originally called Jesse Bazooka Jane. Sorry, shutting up.


Toy Story choose film 9/10
Toy Story 2 choose film 9/10
Toy Story 3 choose film 10/10