I'm a strange breed of muggle. I've seen all the Harry Potter films, most in the cinema. I've read all the books. Hell, I own them. Double hell, I was first in line queueing up outside Morrison's on the morning book 7 was released. But I wouldn't call myself a Harry Potter fan. So why have I kept with it? I read the first book in school, and found the wizarding world to be quite wonderful, a dream of a place to escape to. Granted, by the time the much darker later books came along I became much happier that this world of dictatorial terrorists with almighty magical powers didn't actually exist (or so I'm led to believe) but back then it was nothing short of fun, and the fact that I was of a similar age to the protagonist when the books were released made it all the more so.
Monday, 30 April 2012
Sunday, 29 April 2012
Far From Heaven
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Edward Scissorhands
First off, apologies for the lack of posts recently, I've been in hospital for an operation on my nose (inspiring this Top 5). Also, apologies if the posts over the next few days are a little off, I'm on a veritable Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster of meds, but I'll try and keep everything as on topic as possible.
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Friday, 27 April 2012
Top 5... Movies About Noses
All being well, yesterday I'll have had my nose broken. Fear not, it's intentional, I've had a deviated septum corrected, so hopefully I can breathe properly (I'll let you know), so what better way to celebrate my own nose being fixed (or at least made less faulty), than to look at some of the best films that heavily feature someone's schnozz.
Monday, 23 April 2012
Unlisted: The Cabin in the Woods
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The recent
years have seen the horror genre be evaluated, analysed and turned on its head,
with the likes of Wes Craven’s Scream franchise and Tucker and Dale Vs Evil, and
also imbued with a greater sense of comedy, for example Shaun of the Dead and
Severance, to name two prime British examples. Cabin in the Woods takes these
films and goes much further, leaving you rethinking every slasher movie you’ve
ever seen.
I’m going
to do my best to not reveal spoilers here, but if you’re trying to avoid them
then chances are you probably aren’t reading this. The trailers have been
criticised for perhaps showing more plot than is strictly necessary, revealing
that there is more to this cabin than meets the eye, but I personally feel this
is essential for the trailer (though it could have been hinted at more subtly)
else the only trade the film would have made would be from the slasher fans
willing to pay to see them at the cinema, of which I most certainly am not. My
only trailer annoyance was the use of a scene or two from the third act that,
though I’d only seen the trailers once, still stuck with me and left me waiting
for them, over-thinking the plot as I went.
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I have
very few faults with the movie. One came because I’m a film nerd, and caught
the signposted closing cameo from a recognisable voice, and the third act feels
a little off the rails at times, but in an exhilarating, thoroughly
entertaining way, although I did question why exactly that big red button was there. I look forward to pouring through the features when it’s
released on DVD, and it’s the first film in a while that I’m actually
considering going to the cinema and watching again. Go see this film, it’s
truly wonderful, especially if you’ve ever seen a film with a cabin and some
woods, and chances are you have.
Choose
film 9/10
Sunday, 22 April 2012
Satantango
Aisha’s
away for the weekend and I’ve got no other plans, the hotbed of social activity
that I am, so I’ve made the most of a fairly sunny weekend by staying in and
watching the longest film left on the list, Satantango. At 7 ½ hours long, it
rounds out the top 5 longest films (though technically two are TV series and
one is an eleven-part serial) on the List, which between them have taken up
over 48 hours of my life that I’m never getting back. I doubt it’ll come as a
surprise to many, but of the 14 films over four hours in length of the List,
all of them are from Europe, and only one is in English (Kenneth Branagh’s
Hamlet). More than half of them are French. America doesn’t start to get a look
in until Sergio Leone’s Once Upon A Time in America (227 minutes), but it’s got
a lot around the 3-hour mark instead. Also, of the 4-hour-plus films, three of
them are Holocaust-related documentaries. Yay.
So,
Satantango. I’m going to try and make this review be not entirely about the
length of the film, but it is bloody long. And needlessly so. Many of the
sequences involve nothing happening – the first 9 minutes follows cows
wandering around in the mud, later a child walks purposefully towards the
camera for what seems an eternity – so that whenever a conversation occurs –
other than some sporadic narration, dialogue doesn’t kick in for about 15
minutes – it comes as a shock.
The film
sees the inhabitants of a run-down Hungarian village. The villagers have a
large sum of money they wish to share out, but some want to leave with more
than their fair share, whilst others wish to wait for a man believed dead to
arrive, with the possibility of making even more money with his help. This is only
the central structure of the plot, for there are several detractions, but no
real motives or details are ever expanded upon. We see the same events through
different viewpoints, at one point witnessing a drunken dancing session (at
least 10 minutes long) from the perspective of a young child outside the
window, and then later we’re shown it again, longer this time, but from inside
the room. This new vantage point offers nothing new, and just serves to make me
wish to never hear an accordion ever again, for the same short tune segment is
repeated over and over and over again for the entirety of the dance.
This is,
however, a great achievement in terms of direction and cinematography. Much of
the film takes place in long, unbroken shots, the aforementioned dancing, for
example, which at times are truly breathtaking, and others thoroughly
unimpressive due to the lack of anything happening onscreen (it’s a completely
unbroken shot! Of someone sat down!).
Though I
was never bored, and I was also far from entertained or engaged. The large gaps
of nothingness allowed my mind to wander and expand upon what I was watching,
and also gave me time to jot down the improvements I’m intending to make to the
site over the next few weeks. It did, however, feel like an arduous watch,
something I had to work at to pay attention, and after seven hours I’d hoped
for a satisfying conclusion to make it all worthwhile, a reward for the patience
and sacrifice of time, but alas I was left wanting.
Choose
life 5/10
Labels:
05/10,
06/10,
1001,
Bela Tarr,
Choose Life,
Satantango,
The List
Saturday, 21 April 2012
The Dark Knight
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Not that
this is a perfect film. There are flaws, including the Joker’s plan being at
times a tad too pre-emptive, some ominous camera angles and music cues hinting unsubtly
a character’s true motives earlier than should have been done, and the bit with
the cellphones, which is a bit silly, but is that really enough to warrant a
1-star rating? The fact that these reviewers (I won’t give them the satisfaction
of names or links, only seek them out to feel the rage bubble inside you) fail
to note even one positive point in a movie overflowing with brilliance negates
any opinion they deem worthy of sharing. I personally find it impossible to
find nothing good in a movie – The Adventures
of Pluto Nash is an abomination unto film, yet Randy Quaid is a delight as
Nash’s robotic assistant; Big Trouble in Little China is easily one of the worst films I’ve reviewed from the list
so far, but it has imaginative (if insane) monsters and mythology, some
dialogue that surpasses cheesy to being inspired, and features Kim Cattrall
back when she was attractive. Therefore, with such damning reviews as these ‘people’
have offered, they are in fact unwittingly proving how good a film it is.
Leaping
from the tantalising springboard ending of BatmanBegins – Gary Oldman’s Jim Gordon showing Batman a playing card left as the
mark of a new criminal, calling himself The Joker, we dive headlong into a
wonderfully executed bank heist, as six masked goons effortlessly separate mob
money from the vaults it was stored in. Director Chris Nolan has made no secret
that Heat, Michael Mann’s superb
DeNiro/Pacino cat and mouse crime epic, was a huge influence on the Dark Knight, and it shows, from a
William Fichtner cameo to a central meeting of the hero and villain, even mentioning
a cup of coffee.
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Unusually
for Nolan, the film is actually quite funny. It’s not exactly laugh-a-minute
(there’s certainly less than 152 jokes here), the script is still a lot more humorous
than you might remember. There’s also absolutely no filler, with every strand
being integral to the plot; a true achievement when you consider just how
engaging the story is, even when new elements are being added right up until
the last few scenes.
As always
with Nolan’s films, there’s a couple of cinematography moments that I’d have
tried differently (see Inception),
most notably the scene where the Joker leaves a hospital, which could have
looked truly tremendous had it been one unbroken shot, without needlessly
cutting away to some pedestrians nearby, but this is a small matter that is
more of a personal niggle than a criticism.
Anyway,
for those wondering if they should watch the film again before the upcoming
trilogy closer The Dark Knight Rises
this summer, the answer is a resounding yes. Even if you don’t intend to see
part 3 (I assume you’re planning on gouging out your own eyeballs, just in case
it isn’t any good, there’s no other reason not to see it) you should watch The Dark Knight again, just because it’s
probably the best film to have been released in the last 5 years, if not more.
Choose
film 9/10
Friday, 20 April 2012
Top 5... Drug-Induced Hallucinations
This was going to be Top 5... Drug Trips, but some of the moments I wanted to use weren't full-on immersive excursions, but simply something drugs caused the inbiber to see, so hallucinations technically covers both groups. Plus, having never taken such a trip myself, I felt I could identify more with seeing things than being wacked out of one's gourd.
Tuesday, 17 April 2012
A.I.: Artifical Intelligence
Kubrick's visionary ideas, social commentaries and moral dilemmas don't quite gel with Spielberg's family oriented sentimentality in this disjointed and overlong offering, conceived and planned by the former but implemented by the latter after his death in 1999.
Now, I love me some robots. Whether they're compacting waste into trash skyscrapers, travelling through time to save Sarah Connor or trying to kill Will Smith, you show me a film with robots in and I'll watch the Hell out of it (though I've never actually seen the 20th Century Fox film Robots starring Ewan McGregor and Robin Williams, just never came around). There's a robot clock watching me from atop a bookcase in the lounge, robot cushions on the sofa and a robot cookie jar whose head seems to rotate around and look at me wherever I am. But the key characteristic that joins these all together, is that they all look like robots, which is where A.I. looses my interest, for here they look like people. Yes, I know that's the point. Haley Joel Osment's mini-mecha David has been created to fill the hole left when his new parent's son goes into a coma, and Jude Law's robo-gigolo Joe (that's fun to say) would be downright weird if he didn't look a lot like a human, but that's not what I want to see in a film about mechanical men. It isn't until over half way through the film that we see some older models and exposed innards, and even then it's far too briefly.
Osment is good, too good, as the automated child, and occasionally he passes for human, but for the most part he's in full-tilt terrifyingly creepy mode, following his 'mother' Monica (Frances O'Connor) around the house all day, standing and watching her until she justifiably locks him in a cupboard. The first 45 minutes could quite easily be the start of a horror film, so disturbing is David: "I can never go to sleep, but I can lay quietly and not make a peep." Nothing he does is endearing or even likable, but then I've always felt this way about children, but still the brief amount of time it takes for Monica to bond with this mechanised horror is jarring, especially given there seems to be no real scenario that draws them together. Also, David is only programmed to 'love' one parent, and his new 'father' Henry (Sam Robards) seems devoid of emotions, either for his comatose son or the new replacement, so that fits together nicely.
The movie is comprised of a series of episodes that, once passed, are all but forgotten. The story could have been interesting, and the world has potential for a more enthralling film within it, especially in the city scenes, and the brutal Flesh Fairs, where rogue 'bots are hunted and tortured to a baying crowd's delight, but over an hour of watching David desperately wanting to be a real boy becomes terminally dull. The future technology and gadgetry is generally good, subtle yet insightful, although the cars look a bit silly. And the ending is polarising, I found it terrible and unsatisfying, whilst Aisha thought that, whilst it seemed tacked on and unnecessary, it was still very moving.
Choose life 5/10
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Osment is good, too good, as the automated child, and occasionally he passes for human, but for the most part he's in full-tilt terrifyingly creepy mode, following his 'mother' Monica (Frances O'Connor) around the house all day, standing and watching her until she justifiably locks him in a cupboard. The first 45 minutes could quite easily be the start of a horror film, so disturbing is David: "I can never go to sleep, but I can lay quietly and not make a peep." Nothing he does is endearing or even likable, but then I've always felt this way about children, but still the brief amount of time it takes for Monica to bond with this mechanised horror is jarring, especially given there seems to be no real scenario that draws them together. Also, David is only programmed to 'love' one parent, and his new 'father' Henry (Sam Robards) seems devoid of emotions, either for his comatose son or the new replacement, so that fits together nicely.
The movie is comprised of a series of episodes that, once passed, are all but forgotten. The story could have been interesting, and the world has potential for a more enthralling film within it, especially in the city scenes, and the brutal Flesh Fairs, where rogue 'bots are hunted and tortured to a baying crowd's delight, but over an hour of watching David desperately wanting to be a real boy becomes terminally dull. The future technology and gadgetry is generally good, subtle yet insightful, although the cars look a bit silly. And the ending is polarising, I found it terrible and unsatisfying, whilst Aisha thought that, whilst it seemed tacked on and unnecessary, it was still very moving.
Choose life 5/10
Labels:
05/10,
1001,
5-Star 500,
A.I.: Artificial Intelligence,
Choose Life,
Empire Top 500,
Frances O'Connor,
Haley Joel Osment,
Jude Law,
Robin Williams,
Sam Robards,
Steven Spielberg,
The List
Monday, 16 April 2012
Unlisted: Iron Man 2
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Even more
so than in Iron Man, this feels like a prequel to the Avengers, especially with
Johansson’s Black Widow, bigger roles for Nick Fury and Agent Coulson and
references to Captain America and Thor. That, and the film’s finale feeling
disappointing after a protracted build up leaves this film with all the
entertaining pats of the first, but an unfulfilling sequel that doesn’t take
them anywhere. Favreau has since dropped out of part three, but Kiss Kiss Bang
Bang director Shane Black has stepped up instead. He’s worked with Downey Jr.
on one of his best roles to date, so here’s hoping.
Choose
life 6/10
Sunday, 15 April 2012
Iron Man
Iron Man was the superhero movie we were all
waiting for, we just didn’t know it; discovering the missing ingredient from
all those that came before it – comedy. Though many that came before it weren’t
overly serious, dark or gritty, they still took themselves too seriously, but Iron Man ensures a thick vein of comedy
runs right the way through it. Released over 2 months before the masked
behemoth and current comic book movie touchstone The Dark Knight, Iron Man
came out of nowhere with an untested star and middling director in Robert Downy
Jr, and Jon Favreau. RDJ was still making his comeback after years of exile
from Hollywood due to substance abuse, and Favreau’s most mainstream work was
Christmas classic Elf, but he wasn’t
exactly known for blockbusters, but after the movie’s release both found
themselves sitting pretty on the A list.
Stark is
such a great creation. By his own admission a “genius billionaire playboy
philanthropist,” yet Downey Jr. somehow makes such a character not only
likable, but one you’d willingly like to go for a drink with, and not just
because he’d not only pick up the tab, but probably already owns the bar. He
ably assisted by Gwyneth Paltrow and Terrence Howard as his dependable
assistant and best friend, and Jeff Bridges is on fine menacing-brow villain
mode as Obediah Stane, the business partner of Stark’s deceased father.
Iron Man has
an advantage over other superhero stories in that Stark’s story is actually
interesting. A twist of fate doesn’t have him bitten by a spider, he isn’t an
alien from a distant planet and he isn’t avenging his parent’s death. No, Stark
had all of his superpowers before the film even starts. Wealth, intelligence, a
sharp with and an immaculate goatee are goals he’s worked towards and achieved;
he just needed the push to fit them all together in the form of a titanium-gold
alloy flying suit with a rocket launcher and flamethrower, and what greater
motivation than a terrorist attack against him, using the very weapons his
company created? This means that the villains are also people every can be
against – terrorists and the evil corporation heads who supply them.
The best
scenes involve the subtle yet inspired gadgetry around Stark’s house, from the
Paul Bettany-voiced quasi-butler Jarvis, to the robotic arms that are a little
over zealous with the fire extinguisher. The flawless suiting up sequences and
Downey Jr. interacting with nothing but a mechanical three clawed appendage aren’t
too showy, yet set the film above its rivals.
The only
possibly problems are that Howard’s Officer Rhodes is bland, but then who
wouldn’t be compared to Stark, and the Stane-is-a-villain story arc is clearly
signposted from the get-go, having been given the perfect set-up as the man who
took on Stark Industries when it’s CEO passed away, only to be muscled out by
some upstart genius, that and his full head with a thick, lustrous beard mean
at some point in the near future he’ll be laughing with maniacal glee and
threatening the hero’s love interest. Now that the Avengers (sorry, Avengers
Assemble) is in place, this film does seem like a bit of a precursor to it,
especially the scenes involving Clark Gregg’s Agent Coulson, which don’t really
add anything here other than some fanboy cheers every time someone says Strategic
Homeland Intervention, Enforcement and Logistics Division, but the scenes don’t
detract too much, and can be forgiven as they tie everything up nicely.
Otherwise,
the film is pretty much perfect, and remains enjoyable after many viewings.
Choose
film 8/10
Saturday, 14 April 2012
Chicago
Last
Monday I was not having a good day. I don’t remember having a particularly good
day at work, and when I came home the LoveFilm disc of The Class (review coming soon) infected my PlayStation 3, my
primary film-watching paraphernalia, with an incurable bout of Yellow Light of
Death. Fortunately, after a quick 20-minutes of mucking around with SCART leads
and speakers, the back-up DVD player was up and running, but alas The Class had no intentions of playing,
and to be honest I was in no mood to read subtitles after that debacle, so
instead we settled down for a much more easy to watch and far more enjoyable
evening of Chicago.
I’ve seen
the story twice before, once on film and once on stage, and I think I preferred
the small screen to the grand spectacle, though I think on second viewing it
isn’t as good as I remembered. Renee Zellweger is as annoying as ever as the
naive, waif-like Roxie Hart, incarcerated after killing the man she was
sleeping around with (The Wire’s Dominic
West). Whilst inside, she meets Catherine Zeta-Jones’ performer Velma Kelly,
herself accused of murdering her sister and husband. The two compete for the
favours of Matron Mama (Queen Latifah) and super smooth, silver-tongued lawyer
Billy Flynn (Richard Gere).
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So, whilst
it’s not perfect and a recasting of the lead would have been greatly
appreciated (though to be honest, I’m not sure who I’d cast in her place) many
of the musical numbers are still great fun. Six Oscars and thirteen nominations
though? Seems a little excessive.
Choose
film 7/10
Good Morning, Vietnam
Barry
Levinson can’t work out whether he’s Oliver Stone or Jerry Zucker in this
Vietnam-based Robin Williams vehicle. Heavy handed politics and imagery of
riots, fire and explosions doesn’t tend to gel with zany antics and improv
riffing from one of the world’s leading fast-talking funnymen, but fortunately
Williams is on fine enough form to just about rescue the material from an
uneven mess, as his radio DJ Adrian Cronauer is brought in to perk up the
on-air talent of 1965 Saigon. The troops love him, but his superiors, including
the late, great Bruno Kirby’s put upon aggressive peon Lt. Steve, are less keen
on his refusal to play approved material and pre-programmed songs, opting for
rock and roll over Perry Como. Some storylines seem forced and contrived –
Cronauer repeatedly infiltrating an English class just to meet a girl, her entire
family accompanying them on a date – and you get the feeling that this is only
loosely based on a true story.
Where it
shines though is the comedy. Though some of the references are now very dated
and probably worked a lot better back in the States (Ethel Merman, Walter Cronkite,
Mr. Ed), Williams knack for voices and repartee with a crowd is unparalleled,
though a young Forest Whittaker as station lackey Edward Garlick gets his share
of decent lines too: “A man does not refer to Pat Boone as a beautiful genius
if things are alright.”
The film
tries too hard to make a political statement where none is wanted, and the
failed attempts at poignancy leave a bad taste in the mouth. Had the serious
side been toned down – difficult, I know, given that it’s about war – and the
directionless plot been reined in a little this could have been a classic.
Choose
life 6/10
Labels:
06/10,
1001,
Choose Life,
Empire Top 500,
The List
Of Gods and Men
Based on
the true story of Cistercian monks in Algeria in 1996 (stay with me) this film
is the very definition of slow, but there is no other way it could be told. Had
I watched it after a long day at work or a particularly stodgy meal (my favourite
kind), then odds are I ‘d have drifted off into an unbroken slumber until the
next morning at around twenty minutes in, but the elegiac pace, mostly
following the monks everyday lives as they become gradually more effected by
the increasing terrorist presence as their government deteriorates is beautiful
and engrossing.
Long shots of prayer, studying, tending to the garden, cleaning
the monastery, more prayer, ploughing the fields, singing hymns and praying
again, largely showing little more than the backs of people’s heads doesn’t
sound particularly enthralling, and it’s not, but the camera’s obsession with
these monk’s defiance and dependency in the face of violence is just gripping,
made all the more effective by the sheer lack of action preceding. The best
scenes involve nought but dialogue – the monks refusing to allow their doctor
and his medicine to be taken from them forcefully, monastery meetings
discussing whether desertion is a viable option, or no dialogue whatsoever,
with a piece of classical music and a glass of wine reducing the men to tears –
and I previously wasn’t aware how fulfilling an experience could be achieved
with so little happening on screen.
This won’t appeal to the Friday night crowd
after a little bang for their buck, a crowd I’ll admit to joining regularly,
but for a thought-provoking watch with plenty of room to think and absorb the
atmosphere, you could do a lot worse.
Choose
film 8/10
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